Cold War Feeling

Do you know what "Cold War" means? Well, the dictionary defines it as a state of rivalry and tension between nations. I learned that from my history class :) 

That word is very memorable to me and to Ms. P :) 

Ms. P is not just a close friend but also a sister. Everytime we're not in good terms, it means that we're in the middle of a "cold war". We call it " cold war" because we're cold to each other. There's a gap between us or awkwardness. 

We hate "cold war". That's why we have our campaign #NoToColdWarForever 

Sad to say, that there is something weird going on. I don't know what is happening right now. I can feel this cold war feeling between us. I don't have any idea if I did something wrong. I asked her though, but she said she's just tired. I don't know but, I'm not that convinced. 

For the whole day she didn't message me which is very unusual. I just wish that everything's fine and everything will be fine with God's help. 

This is not LOVE

Is it by chance? or someone's really making it happen to complicate my mind. 

Is it a special feeling? Or it's just something that I need to ignore? 

There's only one thing that I am sure of, It's not LOVE. 

I admire his Faith to God. I like how he gives importance to his duties. He is kind, he loves kids, he is dependable, he is loyal, he is sometimes weird and sometimes lazy :) 

He was once a big brother to me. He was once my friend, but everything changed when he became careless of his feeling. 

It's okay though :) I know it all happened because God let it to happen. But, one thing that's difficult for me to do is, I can't forget it. I can't get over it. It's hard because I know. It's hard because someone knows. It's hard because they know. 

That awkwardness between us is really disturbing me. The way the other people see us is really bothering me. I don't like it. I'm just pretending that I don't care. Pretending that everything's fine. Pretending that I can't see, I can't hear, I can't feel.... Numb. 

I know this is just a trap. With God's help and mercy, I'll fight this feeling :) I won't let anyone replace my first love. Most of all, I don't want him to be the instrument to ruin my promise to God. I don't want myself either to distruct him from doing his duties. 

May God be with us :)